


what is all this sweet work worth if thou not kiss me?

by diaphanousveil



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Dark Cupid and Prime Queen if you see where this is going, F/M, Kissing, Season 2 spoilers, bad decisions for all characters involved, but a happy ending, didn't like my old title so I changed it, probably, romance and angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-11
Updated: 2017-12-29
Packaged: 2019-02-13 15:00:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12986544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/diaphanousveil/pseuds/diaphanousveil
Summary: Chat Noir never stops teasing Ladybug about the kiss. Two years later, Ladybug has an idea that will definitely shut him up.





	1. The kiss

**Author's Note:**

> I have this whole story plotted out, so I'm confident I'll finish it. It's my first multi-chapter fic so it shouldn't be too long. I hope you enjoy!

“But, my lady, I wasn't even aware that it was happening! You should kiss me again.”

Ever since Chat found out about the kiss, he's been an absolute nightmare. It's been actual years, and Ladybug hasn't had a break. If Chat Noir isn't spinning out puns, he's flirting. And he latches onto the infamous kiss like somebody who'd been sitting on the wing of an airplane and hadn't gotten off before the plane was flying at a dangerous speed and altitude.

He’s been ridiculous, prancing around, showing off his admittedly rather nice-looking muscles and flitting his unfairly long eyelashes and ask her to kiss him since this patrol started an hour ago.

Ladybug can’t get a break.

“Um, I don't think so, Mr. Whiskers. I kissed you one time, to save all of our lives, and I don't want to do it again,” she says.

He pouts, ”I don't have whiskers. At least, not cat whiskers. Maybe you felt the very impressive stubble on my face because I didn't shave.”

“Right, I felt your oh-so-masculine unshaven hairs,” Ladybug says, “ All three of them.” 

“LB, please…” Chat whines, contorting his face into an exaggerated expression of suffering. “Just give me the chance to show you the depths of my undying passion for you, and then you'll fall madly in love with me and we can get married and have three kids and a cat.”

His hypothetical life with her is nearly identical to her fantasies of marrying Adrien.  
“No thanks,” she says, “I’m not really a cat person.”

“Meowch, my lady, that stings my soul.” He's not terribly hurt, though, if the grin on his face is any indication of how he’s feeling. 

“You didn't even want to kiss me then,” she remembers. “I had to chase you all over Paris. Do you think I enjoyed that?”

“Come on, Ladybug, was the kiss really all that bad?” Chat continues smirking and Ladybug wants nothing more than to wipe that smug look off his face.

She remembers the hurtful words he said, remembers the magical black lipstick and the leer that had covered his lips. She remembers his cataclysm coming within an inch of her skin, remembers being more afraid of him than at any other time. She remembers shutting her eyes and kissing him desperately, trying to work up some semblance of love, however platonic, in spite of how grossed out she was by the whole scenario. Somehow it had been enough. The kiss had fixed everything.

“It was the worst kiss of my life,” Ladybug says with a straight face.

She's not actually lying, but there was no way she was going to tell Chat that since it was her first and only kiss, it was also the best kiss of her life.

His shoulders slump for a moment, but he picks himself up and tries again. “I am truly sorry for that. I wasn't myself then. Let me make it up to you with a real kiss.” He leans in and she pulls away.

“Look, Chat, I’ve had enough. You never stop with your puns and your flirting long enough to listen to me. I don't like you like that, and I don't see myself ever liking you like that. We can joke about something else, but I'm tired of this.”

The grin disappears from Chat’s face, and his eyes go big and sad like a kitten’s. Ladybug realizes she might have said too much.

“I wasn't--” he starts to say and Ladybug kisses him before he can finish his sentence because she knows what he was going to say and she doesn’t want to hear it, and she hates to see Chat look so hurt, hates that she was the one who made him so sad, and a kiss fixed everything before so maybe it will fix everything now.

His lips are warmer and than she remembers. He freezes for a moment in shock before he kisses her back, gently and with an affection that makes uneasiness swell up in the pit of Ladybug’s stomach. He’s trembling and she can feel his heartbeat, faster and faster every second, and then he’s purring. Chat Noir has never admitted to purring, but she can hear the low rumble from his chest.

“There,” she says, pulling away. “That shut you up.” She tries to sound teasing and triumphant at winning their little game, but her words sound empty. Better than facing what Chat was about to say. 

A flash of light catches her eye, and she turns around. She's not sure who looks more shocked, her, or Chat, or Alya, who is standing six feet in front of them with her camera in hand and her jaw reaching halfway to the sidewalk.


	2. The bet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bad decisions are made.

Chat Noir just stares at Ladybug. 

“I love you,” he says in a soft, awed voice, like he’s in a trance. Then he realizes what he’s said and splutters,”Uh, right, I mean love you Ladybug! Gotta go now, bye!” as he ducks around the corner and out of sight.

Which leaves Ladybug to deal with the mess. Alya has gotten a lot more comfortable dealing with celebrities over the years, and even though she dotes on Ladybug, she's become less of an obsessive fangirl and more like the no-nonsense, ultra-supportive but tough love-giving friend that she is to Marinette. Usually Ladybug loves this, but today, it means trouble.

Alya, who hasn’t said a word this whole time, now lets out a howl of triumph.

“I knew it! I knew you guys were dating.”

Ladybug sighs.

“Alya, I am not dating Chat Noir.” 

“No, of course not. You're just touching his lips with your lips because that's what friends do.”

“I don’t like him like that!”

“This video would suggest otherwise,” Alya teases.

Years of superhero training have honed Ladybug’s reflexes to be fast as lightning, and using these reflexes Ladybug seizes Alya's phone with her yoyo and deletes the video. She hands the now-harmless phone back to Alya.

“Please, Ladybug, I'm better than that. Do you think I’ve been best friends with Marinette Dupain-Cheng for three years without learning to keep my phone backed up?”

Ladybug winces. Of course Alya would. 

“What can I do to convince you to delete that photo?”

Alya's smile goes wide. 

“You can't,” she says.

Alya takes pride in her strong ethical standards as a journalist. But while she would never consider blackmailing a celebrity over compromising photos, she is totally down for forcing her best friend to make a move on the guy she likes. 

Was Alya surprised to realize that Marinette was Ladybug? Yeah. Yes, she was surprised when she opened her friend’s bag to sneak a cookie, only to find the treat half-eaten and still attached to the mouth of a small red thing. 

Alya loves sharing information, but she's surprisingly good at keeping secrets. She had considered confronting Marinette when she found out, but now she's very glad she was patient. She's seen how Marinette dotes on Chat Noir, and it's pretty obvious that there's some deep-denial crushing going on. 

“Do you have any idea how much exposure I could get with this video? I'm not going to lose my chance at this scoop for no good reason.”

Ladybug starts to panic a little bit.  
“I don't like Chat Noir! I like someone else, and please, Alya, don't release this video because it will ruin everything and he'll never like me back and I'll be miserable!”

Yep, that's Marinette alright. Pretty insistent for someone who was kissing Chat Noir not five minutes ago. What Alya would give for that kiss’s context! She was lucky to get almost the whole kiss, but she missed the first couple seconds.

“I don't think I believe you,” Alya says. “You're Ladybug. You can get any guy you want. Yet you've never publicly dated anyone. I think you haven't because you like Chat Noir and you won't admit it.”

“No, it isn't like that at all!”

“Well,” says Alya, “How about a compromise? I'll give you a month to prove you’re dating someone else, and I mean real, actual dates. Then I'll interview you about your relationship and we can take pictures of you and your date instead of this footage.”

“No way!” says Ladybug. “You can't force me to ask a guy out.”

“I bet it would be Chat Noir, wouldn't it.”

“All right,” Ladybug says, “I'll ask him out.”

Alya hadn't expected that to work.   
“You're going to ask Chat Noir out?”

Ladybug scowls.  
“No! I'm going to ask the guy I like! The guy that I like, who is not Chat Noir!”

“I guess we’ll see,” Alya says. “By the way, who is this guy?”

Ladybug gulps. Then her face starts to match the red of her suit.  
“Adrien Agreste,” she says in a tiny whisper.

Alya is enjoying this.  
“A celebrity crush? That's surprising.”

“This isn't just a celebrity crush! I've met Adrien. I've seen him on your blog and at fan events. I know he likes Ladybug.”

“Well, I hate to break it to you, Ladybug, but my friend Marinette has dibs on Adrien Agreste.”  
Alya is enjoying this way too much.

“That's too bad. I know he likes me more than your friend. He'll go out with me, I know he will.”

Ladybug doesn't look happy about that. She looks downright miserable, and Alya wonders if maybe this was a horrible idea.

“All right, Ladybug, you're off the hook. I won't make you ask Adrien out.”

Ladybug’s eyes glint, just the way Marinette’s do when she knows she's about to crush someone on Mecha Strike. It's the incessantly competitive part of her, the part that makes her take Kim’s infamous dates. It's the reason Ladybug always wins, and possibly the most dangerous thing about her.

“Oh no,” she says. “You don't think I can date Adrien Agreste? Watch me.”

This was definitely a horrible idea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Adrien... I do want to acknowledge that Ladybug and Alya are making some morally dubious choices. I'm not condoning anything.


	3. The aftermath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's up I have no consistency in chapter lengths and I have discovered I don't like writing in present tense.

Adrien has no idea how he made it home without falling off a roof. He hasn't died and gone to heaven. He knows, because he can feel the blood throbbing in his veins and he can hear his pulse beating at a staggering tempo. He doesn't remember how he got home. It must have been Plagg’s help, because one unimaginable event has shattered Adrien reality and left him with little to no cognitive function.

Ladybug kissed him. Ladybug kissed him. Ladybug's lips touched his lips. Ladybug kissed him. 

He hadn't expected anything to happen. Of course, he flirted with her and begged for her attention, because that was all he could do when he was with Ladybug. What else was he supposed to do, really? He hadn't meant to let things go as far as they went. He hadn't meant to make her angry. He hadn't meant to admit how serious his feelings were, hadn't meant to make himself that vulnerable. And then the unthinkable had happened.

She kissed him.

Adrien sinks into his bed, curling up with his arms around his knees. Plagg flits around the room, complaining loudly until Adrien gives him a tower of cheese. He gorges himself and passes out on a pillow. Adrien doesn't care. There's only one thing Adrien can think about right now.

She had kissed him. A lovestruck grin works its way onto his face. He presses his fingers to his lips, trying to remember the warmth of her lips against his. 

What did it mean? Did she have feelings for him after all? She'd been trying to explain something to him, he remembers. It had been important and she'd been upset with him, but it's all a blur to him now, everything that happened before she kissed him.

But this means Ladybug likes him, doesn't it? All this time he played at being suave and confident, and all it took for her to kiss him was to let himself be vulnerably honest? It's too easy. It's too good to be true.

Adrien rocks back and forth on his bed. He can't stop laughing. He can't stop laughing and then he's laughing and crying at the same time and then he's just crying and he can't stop crying, however hard he tries. He cries until everything goes dark and fades out of view.


End file.
